Can we just agree that the action flick with an aging hero is absolutely hilarious? There are folks that argue that the employment of men who should be filling out AARP applications as studly, fit action heroes has surpassed the point of logic and just turned into a sad laughing stock. It started out innocently enough: first we had Bruce Willis, who is a badass at any age. Then Stallone reminded us that he’s still here. We’re not going to pick on Van Damme, because he could still snap my doughy ass like a twig (except if he takes my bag of Starburst minis – if he does that, I will go all spider monkey on his ass and he won’t have eyeballs left). The resurgence of the hero of yesteryear spoke to the fact that no one wants to watch Charming Potato save the day. The practice has spurred on debate concerning not only the presence of these action heroes, but the fact that while these guys age, their wives somehow manage to marry them at the age of 14 to produce a child that’s now in college while they’re still firmly in their 30s. And really, guys, if you don’t think we’re pointing and laughing at the notion of an aging man hoping to reclaim the glory years by attempting to save a whole public transit load of people, you’re dead wrong. We’re laughing at you. We’re laughing hard. Except you, Keanu – you have puppies and you can stay.
Here’s a look at Liam Neeson inexplicably battling evil Vera Farmiga onboard a train in The Commuter, which will see yet another damn near geriatric man saving the day by rolling around dangerous stuntwork with knees that have most likely been scoped at least twice. Enjoy. It hits theatres in January.