You know what’s a dirty, good time? A soap opera. God do I hate admitting that one out loud. When I was a kid, my mother used to watch Guiding Light. Holden was hot shit at my house when I was a kid, man. Personally, I was always a fan of the Marlena possession storyline in Days of Our Lives, but I digress. A movie that takes a tongue-in-cheek look at soaps is 1991’s Soapdish. If you’re looking for some cheese this weekend, head on over to Amazon and rent it this weekend.

It’s like eating and entire cheesecake by yourself.

The plot: to win the heart (and vadge) of actress Montana (Cathy Moriarty), producer David (Downey) tries to drive aging star Celeste (Field) from her show by re-hiring Jeffrey (Kline). Celeste had Jeffrey fired, and both carry a serious grudge against the other. The best part of all this? The look behind the scenes of their show, The Sun Also Sets. The backstage has far more drama than the bad drama onscreen. It’s cheese-tastic. So delicious.

David and Montana are the bomb.

Jeffrey is stuck doing dinner theatre by the time that David finds him again. This environment proves that there is indeed a professional hell, and it is dinner theatre in Florida. I will say this: you will never again hear the location Providence, Rhode Island, the same way again. Ever.

I am a sucker for bad fashion. I often don’t hold past sartorial choices against someone – half the time, it’s not a kid’s fault for being forced to wear plaid bell bottoms with a striped shirt. That doesn’t mean that I won’t marvel at the bad pictures. This movie has a taste of it in terms of the terrible, terrible costumes that these women are forced to wear. The early 90s were just as good as the 80s. Once again, we’re back to delicious.

Soap actors aren’t known for the incredible acting skills. They are pretty. They are melodramatic. They know how to ham it up for the camera. They are not the strongest of actors. And this film knows it. Not only does this film know it – this film squints just as hard as an actor that is far prettier than he is talented. It’s over-the-top in its display, and it’s totally aware of the world it’s presenting.

The sheer amounts of cheese in this film are delightful.