It’s no secret that I love horror and hate rom coms. If you’re anything like me, you’re counting down the days until February 15th, also known as Half Priced Candy Day. What better way to pass the time until then? Why, a Valentine’s Day-theme horror movie, of course! Here are five reasons to head on over to iTunes and GooglePlay this weekend for this one.
|Thanks for this one, Canada!|
T.J.(Paul Kelman) left his small hometown for broader, greener pastures, then couldn’t hack it and came back. He left behind Sarah (Lori Hallier), who is now dating Axel (Neil Affleck). There’s a ton of unresolved issue between the three of them, and really, it’s nice to see a love triangle that’s not a clear-cut case of misunderstanding that’s led to anxiety. This is someone who treated his ex like shit, left her and is throwing a fit because she’s not running back to him the minute he decides he wants her back. It’s a depth you normally don’t get in slasher flicks, and it’s worth checking out just for that.
I hate it when horror movie characters will actually say out loud, “Oh, Scott went down to the basement to get some hamburgers out of the freezer a few hours ago. He must be busy reading. Or getting more beer. Or playing Bocci.Yeah, that’s it.” This one features disappearances that make sense, which makes it a little unnerving because no one quite gets that something has gone really, really wrong. That makes it somehow scarier.
|“I’ve got a great idea — let’s party at the mine!”|
Okay, we’re being a little too serious, so let’s go low-brow. There are some incredible Nova Scotia accents in this film. Yes, that’s petty and stupid (and rather rich for a chick from Rochester). It’s also entertaining to anyone in the United States. Oh, and Canadian readers: I’m only pulling your leg. You know I love you (in fact, your country is a far sight more mature than mine is). Feel free to rip on my accent, as well as my political system. We’re all friends here.
Our concept: the town has refused to celebrate Valentine’s Day in any way, shape or form for the past 20 years because they’re worried that a lunatic is going to kill people, much like a massacre years prior. So, rather than, oh, I don’t know, upping the security measures and making sure that people are safe, the town lets a murderer dictate holiday celebrations. This is so fucking ridiculous. I don’t cancel all family Easter celebrations because I used to work in a bakery where I decorated more loaves of Easter bread than I care to admit; I’m told to suck it up and not growl at the pastry on the table. Maybe it’s the fact that the holiday in question is not really a good one. I have so much trouble buying that rational adults would shy away from hanging a heart on the door, but then again, people still watch 19 Kids and Counting, so I guess rationality and adulthood don’t really go hand-in-hand all the time.
|I made that face too, dude.|
I won’t spoil it, but let’s just say that it’s enough to make you shiver.