So I Married An Axe Murderer is one of those films that has a cult following amongst friends, and a “what the fuck are you talking about” reaction from everyone else. Is the plot out there? Yes. Are there plot holes? Yes. Is it predictable? Oh gods yes. However, its humor is nice and stupid, and I happen to really like the fact that Anthony LaPaglia can’t keep a straight face. It’s also got Steven Wright to boot, but that’s beside the point. What amazes me each and every time I watch it is the coping mechanism May MacKenzie (Brenda Fricker) uses in order to keep herself functioning in a marriage to a really crappy human being: the creepy sexual aggression she displays toward LaPaglia’s Tony.
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| This whole movie is a sad statement on relationships. |
May’s husband Stuart (Mike Meyers in a dual role) is not a warm and fuzzy guy, which makes you question of her marriage is a happy one. Stuart is, how shall we say… cranky. Some would openly call him a dick. He walks around shouting at everyone and everything. He believes in out-there conspiracy theories, accusing Colonel Sanders of drugging his chicken in order to drum up business. He drinks quite a bit, which can be attributed to cultural preferences. This is harmless enough – certainly entertaining for the viewers – but then he manages to step into abusive territory. He belittles his children at every turn, which takes a turn for the disturbing if you stop and think about it. Son William (Matt Doherty, who will forever be Averman to me) is nicknamed Head on account of the size of his noggin, with his father acknowledging at one point that one of his cutting remarks will likely have the preteen boy crying himself to sleep that night; however, no apology is offered, which means that the behavior is going to continue with the child’s feelings being ignored. Charlie doesn’t fare much better: his father refers to him as a girl, attacking his closeness with his mother as the young man makes conversation with her. The act of even talking to his mother renders harlie less of a man in the eyes of his father. Argue generational gap all you like, but it’s a suck-ass move for a dad to treat his son that way. What does May do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. There is no raging at her husband. There is no dramatic slap or speech about how she won’t stand for her boys to be treated that way. We don’t even get a quiet, “Why do you have to be that way?” There is nothing in this film that we see that suggests that she takes a stand for her children. Effectively, May becomes the wallflower that just accepts the shit hand that’s been dealt.
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| Everyone knows at least one couple that has a total piece of shit on one half of the equation. |
Except for one thing: May acts upon her attraction to a much younger man. Up until one crucial moment, we see May as a sweet, slightly misguided woman: one that reads The Weekly World News as gospel, one that cooks for her family, one that wants to see her son married and settled. We’re with May up until this point; we like her and we feel badly that she’s married to a jackass. May’s got a chance to fill the niche of the long-suffering wife in the comedy. And then we get the kiss goodbye after dinner, and May goes in for the kill. In full view of her son and drunken husband, May forces Tony into a full-on snog that makes him visibly uncomfortable. It’s not just Tony that gets uncomfortable either: Charlie averts his eyes and uncomfortably clears his throat. When faced with his mother making unwanted advances against his friend, Charlie literally looks the other way. Is this due to social convention, or is rooted in the shock that this is the first time this has happened? Interestingly enough, it happens again, as May gets emboldened at Charlie’s wedding and attempts to grope Tony through his kilt at the reception during a dance. Tony protests this time around, and he leaves the dance floor in order to stop this. Charlie doesn’t seem to notice; in fact, no one at the wedding seems to notice that a married woman is attempting to grind a groomsman on the dance floor in full view of everyone else. Tony, for his part, behaves like a female victim of unwanted sexual advance: he doesn’t call her on it publicly, and he removes himself from the situation, hoping it will go away. It’s textbook, and it’s just as wrong when it happens to a man as it is when it happens to a woman.
The interesting part of this scenario stems from the reaction that no one says a peep in order to stop May’s unwanted behavior. This gives the comedy a far darker aspect: it’s banking on the fact that no one is going to say a damn word about what she’s doing because it will rock the boat, which allows the behavior to not only continue, but intensify. We saw May move from a kiss to an ass grab. What is the next interaction going to bring? Logic tells us that this is only going to increase in its sexually aggressive nature, as the pattern has demonstrated in the past. Tony does not tell her no; rather, he walks away, which is a typical victim reaction when receiving unwanted attention from someone. Charlie doesn’t tell his mother to stop either, and she doesn’t read the social cues that this is non-consenual. If the genders on this interaction were reversed, we’d be angry that this young woman was getting assaulted and intimidated by a predatory older man. This is not cool by any stretch of the imagination, so why is it allowed to continue? Is it because he’s married to a verbally abusive drunk? Is that the reward for years of being yelled at while her children are emotionally and verbally abused? Because the message this sends is pretty terrible: you’re not repsonsible for your actions if your spouse is a complete dick.
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| Way to let a predator get away with it. |
This behavior makes May just as bad, if not worse, than Stuart. Stuart may yell and belittle, but everyone acknowledges what a pain in the ass he is. May, on the other hand, quietly accepts her role as the suffering wife until something pretty catches her eye. At that point, she feels entitled to go after it, whether the object of her affection wants the advance or not. And that, kids, is awful beyond a shadow of a doubt. If you’re that unhappy, change it. Don’t coerce someone into contact that he or she doesn’t want.
