I had intended to do a Saturday Short yesterday, but I hosted a children’s sleepover party the night before. Plan as you might, you’re never fully prepared for preteen girls scarfing cupcakes.

Lately, I’ve been trying to get back in touch with my inner chid. Turns out, she’s a misanthropic bitch too. That’s right, we’re headed for your childhood obsession this week: Labyrinth, with chaser of The Neverending Story. I don’t know if you should be afraid, excited, or an unholy combination of both. Probably both. There’s something for everyone. We’re equal opportunity like that.