Coming This Week: Green Room, The Little Mermaid, and Victoria, Plus Live Tweet

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As I type this, I’m listening to Digitalism. To hell if it’s simultaneously hailing and sunny outside; it’s going to be peppy this week, dammit!

You may not be my type, Ryan, but you look like you can pick a good bottle of booze, so you’re in.

This week, we’re going all in. Monday sees me talking about authenticity in Green Room. Wednesday, you’ll be treated to me going off on the Disney version of The Little Mermaid, which I loved as a child and side-eyed as an adult. I’d normally say that our week is going to end with a recommendation for Sebastian Schipper’s Victoria, but… it’s not ending. Nope. Some exciting things going on this week. Saturday is a big day. I am getting to talk about a preview for a wicked good short called Pieces, as well as the live tweet for WolfCop.

Our live tweet will have #wolfcop associated with it (because I’m creative), and it will start at 6 PM EDT. I’ll be sure to announce who’s with me as I do this. It’s going to be a blast. You can follow that on Twitter with the handle @bsdriverreview  (yes, I meant to do that. Because I’m a dick.).

As for our search for new writers… it’s going very well. I am pretty close to announcing our new writers (yes, plural); I just need to find the right fireworks because they are so awesome that they require a pyrotechnic team. We’ve got some guest columnists lined up as well, which is also exciting. If you’re still itching to be heard, you can always inquire within at backseatdriverreviews@gmail.com

Happy trails, kids!

Saturday Shorts: 2AM: The Smiling Man

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Sight and sound are two powerful things when put together. Sometimes, you stumble across a film that manages to combine the two in such a way that you’re left in awe of the sound and foley team. To this end, I’m not only going to recommend Michael Evans’s 2AM: The Smiling Man; I’m going to tell you to throw on a pair of headphones when you watch it. You’re going to want the full effect.

Click here for 2AM: The Smiling Man.

The simplest things got me on this one. Simple maxim: sometimes, the creepiest person around is the guy that inexplicably, unnaturally smiles at you and doesn’t stop. Likewise, the simple sounds got me: minimalist music and, more importantly, the footfalls. Jesus, those footfalls killed me. It’s a subtle reminder that someone else is around in the dead of night, quietly following you. It’s frightening, because it’s the simplicity that builds the dread: you know that something is there, and it’s not teasing you with a catch phrase or the drag of a knife. There’s no audible cocking of a gun. So when we get to the sudden bumrush of a run, it’s fucking terrifying. This smiling nutjob is hauling ass toward our hero, and we have no clue what he wants; just a feeling that he’s going to do harm. In that moment, we’re scared of the unknown person who’s smiling and about to attack. It speaks to a deep fear we have (being harmed without reason). And it’s damn effective.

So look over your shoulder, and happy Saturday.

Weekend Movies: Five Reasons to Watch Pirate Radio

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This week, I’m recommending 2009’s Pirate Radio. It’s about a group of DJs that play rock music from a boat in the 1960s when you couldn’t broadcast it from the mainland in Britain. Not everyone likes this film, and I’m aware of that. However, I do like it, and I think it’s got some merit. I have my reasons, and I’m happy to share them. So if you’re in the mood for something with a bit of snark, head on over to iTunes or Google Play and give this one a chance.

Groovy cats right here.

 

#1 – It’s complicated

Some of the largest complaints I’ve heard about the film stem from the fact that there’s a huge soap opera going on. To this extent, this film does indeed have a lot going on. Here’s the thing, though: if you’re familiar with the revolutionary scenes throughout history, you’ll realize that every major social revolution had a shit ton of drama associated with it. From the Renaissance to the British romantics to the rock and roll scene, everyone was sleeping with everyone else, there were petty squabbles to be had, and someone was most likely arrested multiple times. So yes, the plot has a lot going on. But that just makes it more real. There’s major dramz in upheaval.

#2 – The soundtrack

I grew up on music from this era, in addition to the standard hair band diet that a child born in 1980 endured. I have very fond memories of listening to what is now referred to as Classic Rock in the car with my parents, and it’s how I managed to learn quite a few songs by The Who as a kid. In addition to The Who, this soundtrack also boasts The Kinks, The Rolling Stones, The Yardbirds, Marvin Gaye, and The Hollies. If you’re anything like me, you’ll be lip syncing with half the damn movie.

#3 – The cast

This is casting porn. So many actors of British comedy here that I love. Jack Davenport. Nick Frost. Bill Nighy. Rhys Ifans. Chris O’Dowd. Given, I could live without Tom Sturridge (I’ve actually heard of him referred to as looking like a pillow weeper during sex, which is apt here). However, the presence of Katherine Parkinson more than makes up for it. Any film that includes the powerhouse that is known as Jen Barber is okay in my book. I totally wanted her to scream, “TAXI!”

Get over here, Ifans.

 

#4 – Sir Alistair Dormandy

Kenneth Branagh’s Dormandy is a total bitch. From his nasty comments about subordinates’ hair cuts to looking for any way to get the illegal radio crews busted, he’s the beaureaucratic asshole that spoils everyone’s fun. Branagh has a field day with this, making sure to inject sheer delight into every comment and interaction. It’s another reason why we love Ken.

#5 – The fun of commrades

I have a confession to make: I run with podcasters lately. This group is by far and away some of the most balls-out fun you will have. They’re excellent conversationalists, their tastes are impeccable, and they know their shit. The group of DJs in this film remind me not only of the podcasters I know (and the bonds they share with each other), but also the people that listen to said podcasts. There’s something wonderful about listening to something either by yourself or with a group of people, knowing that somewhere, some else is listening as well. It turns into a shared experience. And just like that, you manage to become part of a community without having to open your mouth. All you need to do to join the club is listen.

Where we go one, we go all.

 

While it’s not the best that’s out there, it’s a fun exercise in community and good tunes. Go ahead and give it a try.

Writing Opportunity at Backseat Driver Reviews

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There is no easy way to say this. I need a time machine. Or extra hands (god, the possibilities with that one…). Or a clone. Why, you may ask? I want to add two more segments to this blog. I’d like to get something up every day (I am just on FIRE tonight). At this point, I’m working with three other publications: That’s Not Current, Diabolique Magazine, and Screams Quarterly Magazine. Plus posting here five times a week. I either need an I.V. filled with Red Bull or an evil elf that wants to do my bidding. As I am fresh out of Red Bull, I think I’m going to need an evil elf. So, to that extent, I’m officially in the market for an elf.

 
This is my want ad.

Here’s what the job entails: on Tuesdays, you’d be finding and publishing a recommendation for a trailer (proposed segment: Trailer Tuesdays). On Fridays, you get to talk about whatever you want in the world of film or television, whether it’s analysis, a rant or a good find. Hell, I’m even open to you covering comics or music (so long as it’s not Taylor Swift. Just, no.). Problem is that I can’t pay you with money. It would have to be Skittles. So if you’re down with that, let me know. Comment or drop me a line at backseatdriverreviews@gmail.com and we’ll go from there.

Mother Knows Best: The Red Queen in Resident Evil

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Resident Evil makes a lot of people I know very, very angry. I know quite a few gamers that would love nothing more than to soundly box this film about the ears from trangressions ranging from plot violation to poor acting. It gets heavy-handed with its Alice in Wonderland references, which does nothing to help its cause. Really, though, it’s here that we start to see an interesting question snuck in to an otherwise popcorn movie. You see, Resident Evil gets sneaky in regards to a rather large, sly question via its Red Queen and her actions. By comparing the computer program’s actions to those of the commando group, the film manages to call into question the desire to protect the greater good in the face of the instinct of the group to not only carry out their mission, but to survive in the face of greater evidence that their actions could cause global doom.

Thanks a lot, Anderson.

 

The Red Queen is described as, “[s]tate of the art artificial intelligence. She’s the computer that controls the Hive.” Placing a computer in charge has its benefits: the program isn’t going to see things in shades of gray. She describes the virus as “a major medical breakthrough,” listing both the positive and the negative traits of it. She tells the team that the release of the T-virus presented “an uncontrolled pattern of infection” which mutated quickly and is “almost impossible to kill. I couldn’t allow it to escape from the Hive. So, I took steps. You must understand, those that become infected, I cannot allow to leave.” That’s a pretty big threat, and there’s no time for feelings in a situation like this. As such, the moment that the T-virus is released, she buckles down and does her fucking job: she seals off the Hive, making sure that the threat – which can and does destroy all life it encounters – is contained. While the team refers to this as going “homicidal,” you have to admit that she’s doing her job tremendously well. She quietly and nonchalantly goes about locking doors and releasing a toxin gas throughout the underground facility to ensure these ends. No one is left alive, and it doesn’t matter if it’s your mother, brother, cousin or daughter. The Red Queen must weigh a global viral distaster that would impact billions of people versus the couple hundred employees that are trapped underground. In the grand scheme of things, from our safe little seats, we can see the wisdom in the team perishing. It’s the responsible thing to do, even if people die.

 

The team, however, doesn’t see this larger picture, and instead focuses on their own attachments and survival. Upon arrival, their main concern is security protocol before they immediately descend into the Hive. The logic behind this is mind-boggling: who the hell grabs an agent with zero memory of who she is and the history of her mission before traipsing into an underground cavern that has been sealed off by the main computer system? Did no one think to run a script remotely to see what set it off? Obviously not. This team is far more focused on their objectives as opposed to the common sense aspect of their actions. By the time they realize that the Hive was sealed off for a damn good reason, they’re in the thick of the labyrinth and have already confronted the ramifications of a viral outbreak that could end life on Earth as we know it. Rain (Michelle Rodriguez) sums up the situation with the only shred of clarity to come from the group: “Containing the incident was the only fail safe plan they had.” However, Kaplan (Martin Krewes) isn’t so sanguine about their lot: he wants to know why they weren’t informed of this ahead of time, and spends the rest of his screen time trying to help the rest of the group survive the escape. Rain doesn’t even fully let it go, referring to the ability to switch off the Red Queen as “insurance” that they get back up to the surface, despite that this group has witnessed firsthand how bad this virus is. No one is thinking clearly about what’s at stake at this point: they’re in survival mode. This comes to a head when Rain, Alice (Milla Jovovich) and Matt (Eric Mabius) are confronted by the Red Queen when they request codes to get out of the Hive. “One of your group is infected,” she tells them. “I require her life for the code… I’m sorry, but [letting her live is] a risk I cannot take.” Rain offers up her life, but Alice won’t let her die, holding out hope that the antivirus can save her life. To Alice, the bond that she has formed with the group matters more than the prospect of the antivirus failing. A woman she met a few hours ago, who is neither love interest nor friend, matters more than the billions of people on the planet who could be turned into zombies as a result of her actions.

 

I honestly can’t tell if this is Zombie Rain or Michelle Rodriguez on a Tuesday evening.

 

The impact of a failed antivirus could devestate the world, and therein lies the key issue: rather than accepting that their entrapment and deaths could result in containment, this group insists upon getting out alive at all costs. This includes the possibility of T-virus exposure, which the Red Queen assesses as unpredictable: the computer system knows the ablities of the virus, and as such, it knows enough to wish to contain it. This isn’t a bad thing – this is survival at its finest. Not the group of people that selfishly want to go home at the end of the day; the computer program is playing den mother to the planet by realizing that in killing a group of people, it will contain the damage to a massacre of hundreds as opposed to billions. As much as we don’t want to admit it, we have to cut off the necrotic tissue in order to save the body; these people happen to be healthy tissue that’s in the immediate area of the infection, and they have to be sacrificed for life to continue. The counterpoint to this is tricky: in the end, another team is going to reopen the Hive and go in. That we can chalk up to bad writing, though. The heart of this issue is the notion of altruistic sacrifice. These people can either die or run the risk of releasing a raging virus. No choice is good, but at the end of the day, damning the world to a zombie apocolypse far outweighs the notion of you going home and having dinner. The greater good gets ignored for the chance of the individual to survive, which is pretty fucking selfish if you meditate on it for a few minutes.

 

Aaaaand now we’re stuck with this.

 

In a moment of exasperation, Rain declares, “That homicidal bitch killed my team!” While that may be true, the Red Queen was doing what she was programmed to do: assess the situation and make a judgment  call in order to keep life safe. The Red Queen had to weigh whether or not the lives of a relatively small group of humans outweighed global infection. We may not want to admit it, but her decision to kill everyone and everything in the Hive was the correct one. It may be sad to the friends and families of those individuals, but in the global picture, it was the only choice to ensure continued human survival. And if everyone had just sat and thought about that for ten minutes, maybe we would have been spared a full hour of crappy film and a never-ending litany of bad sequels.

Everybody Loves Scott: The Douche Problem in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

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Let me preface this by stating that I love Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Edgar Wright had me at the 8-bit intro over the Universal logo. Yes, I am that shallow. Plus, it has Legend of Zelda sound effects throughout the film. That’s like coating a movie in chocolate cheesecake. That being said, the character Scott (Michael Cera) is problematic when viewed from a distance. Hell, he’s a problem when viewed up close. Scott’s an undeniable dick. It never ceases to amaze me throughout this film that a guy we really shouldn’t like is chased by pretty much everyone in the plot. And even though he gets his moment of personal growth, that’s not enough excuse his actions. Shit, it’s not even Scott that’s like this – Ramona is just as bad. It’s enough to make me wonder why in the hell we’d stick with this lot, considering that I’ve stepped in deeper puddles. The answer winds up coming from a surprising source.

I love you, yet you’re a complete douche.

On paper, Scott isn’t impressive; he’s not even impressive in practice, especially in the relationship department. Scott is 22, unemployed, leeching off of his roommate, and dating a 17-year-old Catholic high school student named Knives Chau (Ellen Wong). His relationship with her is fairly shallow, as he describes their activities: “We ride the bus together, we have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends and about, you know, drama… We almost held hands once but then she got embarrassed.” They eat pizza, walk around, go to the library and play video games at the local arcade. Okay, I can’t fault him for that last one, as arcade games are wicked cool, but what I can fault him for is the fact that he makes Knives pay for all of their rounds; at least cough up a few quarters, douche. Point is, theirs is a fairly neutered relationship. The sex part of it is avoided, which is equal parts naivete from Knives and avoidance of a jail term from Scott. Really, all that’s left for him to do with an underage girl is treat the relationship as Wallace describes: “Playtime.” It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what Scott’s really looking for: someone young and inexperienced in order to help ease back into the dating pool after getting crushed by the far more successful Natalie (Brie Larson). Boy is there loaded meaning in there: once her band became successful, Natalie dumped Scott for her bass player, Todd (Brandon Routh, who should be doing WAY more comedy, as he’s funny as shit. No, really – go check out Zack and Miri Make a Porno. How he kept a straight face throughout his scenes with Justin Long is beyond me.). Scott couldn’t handle her rejection or her professional success, and its influence is felt from everything ranging from his hair to his oddball relationship with Knives to his pursuit of Ramona (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). Scott can’t get over being dumped by a woman who is arguably more talented and successful by comparison, so he goes for Knives, who displays only awe around him. He can’t get rejected by her; she’s safe, despite that she’s bland.

It makes sense that Scott cheats on Knives with Ramona because she’s infinitely more interesting by comparsion; however, I’d hesitate to call her the better deal. Ramona, while not 17, isn’t exactly a worldly, mature woman: she’s a delivery messenger for Amazon, she’s biting in all of her interactions with other characters to the point of coming off as a pissy teenager, and she’s still hung up on her ex as well. She doesn’t exactly have her shit figured out: she’s working a job that’s going nowhere while literally running away from her ex to another country. On top of it, the presentation of Ramona is such that she appears so harsh and aloof that it nearly renders her unlikable, and if it wasn’t for her cool hair and theme music (I wish the intro to “Garbage Truck” played when I walked into a room), we’d be telling him, “Seriously, dude, don’t bother.” Ramona makes it clear that she’s not interested in Scott at first when she shoots him down at the party. How does Scott handle this? By stalking her and manufacturing a reason to get to interact with her, which she huffingly accepts. When she agrees to hang out, she acts just as bored, then magically switches gears to spend the night with him. Let me take this chance to congratulate this film on putting together two actors with zero fucking chemistry whatsoever. I’ve seen gay male actors have hotter kisses with women than Michael Cera and Mary Elizabeth Winstead had in this movie. So if there’s no physical chemistry and no personality meshing, why should we want them to be together?

 

The stench of love at first sight is so strong I’m choking.

 

It’s puzzling because there’s really no one for which we can cheer, and we wind up liking the most unlikely person of all: wiseass, deadpan drummer Kim (Alison Pill). Kim gives us a reason to stick around because she says all the shit that we want to say. “Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it,” she tells him within the first five minutes of the film. What’s our reaction? We laugh, because we want to say the same damn thing to Scott. For fuck’s sake, he’s dating a 17-year-old girl that worships him; he’s not a beacon of maturity, and the situation has the potential to head into some really nasty territory, ranging from a broken-hearted girl to a shotgun underage wedding. Kim calls him on that as well: “I mean, are you really happy, or are you really evil?” She’s asking him if he really likes Knives, or if he’s headed down a bad road with this girl sans regard for her feelings. When Scott tries to play the injured party in this interaction, she needles him, insinuating that he lacks the capacity to feel emotional pain while poking at his immaturity. You know what? Scott needs this. After Julie (Aubrey Plaza) lists off bad relationships that he explains away, you know that this isn’t his first time being thoughtless. This is a pattern with him, and he doesn’t think that he needs to change. Kim calls him out on his bullshit, and we identify with her because, like it or not, we all have a Scott in our lives. We all have that one person we want to slap and scream, “GROW THE FUCK UP!” We’ve all got that cousin that refuses to be a dad or that female friend that won’t put leave the party life behind; we resent these people for their refusal to accept adult responsibility, including the pain they cause others by being emotionally stunted. Ramona is doing nothing to help Scott along; in fact, she’s placating him with her own issues. If we can’t yell at Scott ourselves, we may as well stick with the chick that’s going to do the slamming for us.

 

I feel ya, Kim.

 

That being said, I still find this film rather funny. It’s got a warped sense of humor, and really, there are some great moments of seeing a guy that’s a tool get thrown through a wall. But at the end of the day, I can’t help but wonder what everyone sees in Scott, from Knives to Ramona to even Kim. He’s a douche, and he’s not going to change. Maybe we should just have coffee with soy milk and call it a day.

Coming This Week: Scott Pilgrim, Resident Evil, and Pirate Radio, Plus a Live Tweet Announcement

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Here we go again, kids. Another week, another chance for me to ramble about something. Plus, there’s an announcement!

Nope, not pregnant.

The business of the week first: we’re going to take a look at what the hell makes Scott Pilgrim of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World such a prize (hint: he’s not), as well as the need for self-preservation versus the greater good of, you know, containing world-wide disaster in Resident Evil. We’ll round out the week with a recommendation for Pirate Radio, which can be hit or miss. For a hedonist on a budget like me, it’s a hit.

Now that the accounting is out of the way, we can move on to the party. Yes, we’ll be live Tweeting again. This time, our lucky victim is the 2014 Canadian gem WolfCop. I tried getting through this movie once before and I failed. I will have reinforcements with me this time around (as well as booze). Come join me on Twitter (@bsdriverreview) on Saturday, May 21st, at 6 PM EDT. It’ll be a blast.

Saturday Shorts: Dinner Date

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I’ve been on a steady diet of horror lately, and I need to lighten up. So what better subject to attack than the almighty date? Let’s have some fun with Dinner Date, a Canadian film by Tom Antos.

Click here for Dinner Date.

This film just goes to show you that perspective is everything. We get to see what women consider a great date and what men consider a great date in under four minutes, which is impressive. I do feel the need to throw up this disclaimer, though: it’s not clear cut across either gender line as to what’s good and what’s bad; Occam’s razor doesn’t always apply, so let’s play it safe and say that while the generalization works in the context of the film, the attitudes held aren’t always correct in real life.

That being said, where this film excels is the engagement it enacts with the audience. It knows not to drag things out. It uses the strengths of editing and line delivery to take the same scenario and tailor it to the perspective of the actor. That’s equal skill on the part of the director and the performers. So bravo to them for providing a film that I liked in a short amount of time.

Happy Saturday, and may all your dates be good ones.

Weekend Movies: Five Reasons to Watch Soapdish

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You know what’s a dirty, good time? A soap opera. God do I hate admitting that one out loud. When I was a kid, my mother used to watch Guiding Light. Holden was hot shit at my house when I was a kid, man. Personally, I was always a fan of the Marlena possession storyline in Days of Our Lives, but I digress. A movie that takes a tongue-in-cheek look at soaps is 1991’s Soapdish. If you’re looking for some cheese this weekend, head on over to Amazon and rent it this weekend.

It’s like eating and entire cheesecake by yourself.

 

#1 – An impressive cast
This film has a good cast, including Robert Downey Jr., Sally Field, Kevin Kline, Whoopi Goldberg and Elizabeth Shue. That’s right. This film boasts Iron Man, Gidget, Otto West, Oda Mae Brown, and Chris Parker in the same room at the same time. Looking back, this is the strangest combination, but it’s so weird that it works. Everyone does a great job in their respective roles. Speaking of which…

 

#2 – Behind-the-scenes action

The plot: to win the heart (and vadge) of actress Montana (Cathy Moriarty), producer David (Downey) tries to drive aging star Celeste (Field) from her show by re-hiring Jeffrey (Kline). Celeste had Jeffrey fired, and both carry a serious grudge against the other. The best part of all this? The look behind the scenes of their show, The Sun Also Sets. The backstage has far more drama than the bad drama onscreen. It’s cheese-tastic. So delicious.

David and Montana are the bomb.

 

#3 – Dinner theatre hell

Jeffrey is stuck doing dinner theatre by the time that David finds him again. This environment proves that there is indeed a professional hell, and it is dinner theatre in Florida. I will say this: you will never again hear the location Providence, Rhode Island, the same way again. Ever.

#4 – Early 90s costumes

I am a sucker for bad fashion. I often don’t hold past sartorial choices against someone – half the time, it’s not a kid’s fault for being forced to wear plaid bell bottoms with a striped shirt. That doesn’t mean that I won’t marvel at the bad pictures. This movie has a taste of it in terms of the terrible, terrible costumes that these women are forced to wear. The early 90s were just as good as the 80s. Once again, we’re back to delicious.

#5 – Atrocious acting

Soap actors aren’t known for the incredible acting skills. They are pretty. They are melodramatic. They know how to ham it up for the camera. They are not the strongest of actors. And this film knows it. Not only does this film know it – this film squints just as hard as an actor that is far prettier than he is talented. It’s over-the-top in its display, and it’s totally aware of the world it’s presenting.

The sheer amounts of cheese in this film are delightful.

 

This is pure camp. It may not be for everyone, but it’s hysterical if it’s the right fit for you. Give it a try this weekend.